December 21st, 2018
13 Tevet 5779
In this weeks parsha, we are faced with the death of another patriarch. Joseph gets word that his father Jacob is about to die and he and his brothers approach his father for a blessing. Each of Jacob’s sons is blessed by their father. They are promised strengths and blessings in line with their character and who they are as people and consequently what will characterize their Tribe’s role in Am Yisrael. From Judah, will come a line of leaders and kings, from Levi, will come the priests, from Isaachar, the scholars, and so on and so forth.
Jacob is no stranger to the death bed blessing. When his father Isaac died, he too had a blessing bestowed upon him. However, Jacob was unable to trust in his own merit and therefore, took the blessing meant for his brother, Esau. Jacob’s desire to bless each of his sons, not based on birth order but based on their own strengths and qualities, who they are and what they have to offer the world, is demonstrative a break in the chain of family tradition. Jacob allows each son to receive a blessing meant only for him, one that demonstrates their relationship as father and son, and his knowledge of their abilities and strengths.
Jacob allows each son to receive a blessing meant only for him, one that demonstrates their relationship as father and son, and his knowledge of their abilities and strengths.
Interestingly enough, Jacob also bestows a blessing on 2 of his grandsons; Ephraim and Menashe. In the line of tradition, they would not have been eligible for this blessing but nevertheless, Jacob calls them to his bedside and blesses them as though they were his own sons. They become the leaders of 2 independent tribes and are held up in the line of the people of Israel with the same stature of their uncles and father.
Jacob concludes the blessing by instructing the future generations of the Jewish people to bless their children by saying “May G‑d make you like Ephraim and like Manasseh”. So we are left to wonder why it is that God chooses these 2 boys to be the exemplars, the ones for whom all future Jewish sons will be blessed and should emulate.
The rabbis teach that these 2 young men were exemplary in their character. First of all, Ephraim and Menashe were one of the only pair of brothers in the Torah who do not fight. “Avraham's two sons, Isaac and Ishmael, were cast by their parents as adversaries (and their rivalry remains, in some ways, at the heart of conflict between Jews and Muslims today.) Jacob and Esau likewise fought; after Jacob tricked Esau out of his blessing, Jacob fled for his life. Though they reconciled eventually, Jacob never trusted his brother's good will and their relationship remained strained. And Jacob's sons bitterly resented their youngest brother Joseph, even going so far as to sell him into slavery[1].” So the examples are plentiful and the trauma is passed on l’dor vador, from story to story from generation to generation.
Ephraim and Menashe however, break this cycle. They grow up together as comrades and friends and we have stories of embittered battles between them. While they did probably have the typical sibling “stuff” that all siblings do, their squabbles are unnoted and therefore, we are taught that their relationship is one which we should strive to imitate. Second, They were raised in the palace in Egypt, surrounded by a foreign culture devoid of holiness and absent the God of Israel. Yet they maintained their faith and relationship to the Jewish people despite their surroundings and upheld the morals and ideals taught to them by their father Joseph.
They were raised in the palace in Egypt, surrounded by a foreign culture devoid of holiness and absent the God of Israel. Yet they maintained their faith and relationship to the Jewish people despite their surroundings and upheld the morals and ideals taught to them by their father Joseph.
To have maintained this level of spirituality and character amid a society that we know to have been ethically and morally questionable, is an act of greatness. These boys were, like many American children, assimilated into a foreign culture. They were not raised surrounded by their family or their tribes, but amid a secular nation with values antithetical to those espoused by their father and grandfather. And yet, they emerged unscathed and perhaps even better for it.
We are taught that Egypt was in some ways the prototype for Jews living in the diaspora. Joseph’s family was the first family to have to contend with the possibility or threat of assimilation. We as American Jews, or Jewish Americans depending on how you identify, are faced with this question every day? How do we espouse Jewish values and Jewish beliefs while still existing comfortably in a culture where we are not dominant? How do we view the world through a Jewish lens and hold on to the values of our tradition?
Admittedly, sometimes I worry. Our children come here for pre school or Religious School. We teach them all that we can in the time that we have and then we send them back out into the world to navigate its many pitfalls and challenges. How will we ever be able to teach them everything they need to know? Jewishly or otherwise? How do we, like Joseph, imbue them with a Jewish identity and spirituality that will endure in a world dominated by outside forces?
How will we ever be able to teach them everything they need to know? Jewishly or otherwise? How do we, like Joseph, imbue them with a Jewish identity and spirituality that will endure in a world dominated by outside forces?
Sometimes as an educator, I find myself overwhelmed at the task before me and unsure of how I will ever accomplish it.
And then I have experiences like the one I had on Tuesday. Which I will share with you now:
As part of my work with the religious school here at TBJ, I lead Tefilah or prayer services for our 3-6th grade on Tuesday evenings. One of our rituals during Tefilah is that I ask the kids a “tfilah question” which they then discuss with their chavruta, or study partner, and then we discuss as a bigger group. From week to week the questions vary based on the torah portion or the prayers they are focusing on that week. Their answers are usually sweet and heartwarming and I always walk away with a smile on my face.
This Tuesday however, I was getting ready to teach the 3 & 4th graders about the Kedusha, the 3rd part of the Amidah prayer that is said in the morning. This is a new prayer for them and we were going to learn about the choreography and why it is that we pop up to our tippy toes when we say the words kadosh, kadosh, kadosh – holy, holy, holy.
Earlier that day, I had worked with the 5-6th graders and their responses had been things like, to get closer to God, to show respect, to demonstrate our desire to be holy like God, etc. So when I opened my mouth to pose the question to the younger group, I wasn’t prepared for a very different response. However, what happened next was, in fact, a little unexpected. One of our wonderful 4th graders raised her hand and announced, “actually I have a question!” I wasn’t sure what it would be but I said sure, whats up. She then said, in a quiet voice, um – so – if God is real then why doesn’t God make all our wishes come true?
"So if God is real then why doesn’t God make all our wishes come true?"
I stood there for a second. Taken a back by the depth of the questions. I could have said, you know what? That’s kind of a big discussion – why don’t we talk about it later or make an appointment with me and we can discuss, etc. Instead, I found myself humbled and excited. I took the microphone and I said you know what. We’ll talk about the Kedusha when we get back from winter break. Today we are going to shift gears. And I asked the student to pose the question again, this time to the entire group.
We then had a discussion about why it is that our 3rd-4th graders think that God doesn’t just answer our prayers willy nilly or make our wishes come true.
Here are some of the responses: - show slide
- One student explained to me that God is not a genie. God does not grant wishes. God is our protector and parent. God makes miracles like the parting of the red sea or the oil that wouldn’t burn out.
- Another student took that idea further in saying, God doesn’t have time to worry about giving us the things we want like a car or a video game. God has to worry about things like our health and our safety and that’s more important.
- One child explained to me that if everyone had the power to wish for something and receive it, then everyone would have a fancy car and no one would be able to appreciate it. A Maserati he said, would be like a toy truck. Nothing special. Part of what we are responsible for as people, is to work for the things we want because it allows us to feel gratitude for them and appreciate how lucky we are.
- Another child still, explained that if everyone could have whatever they wanted whenever they wanted it, none of us would be kind to each other and would just be selfish. The world would turn to chaos. His words.
As I stood there taking in these profound and beautiful responses from our young people, I was filled to the brim with gratitude and humility. Sometimes the lessons we think we need to teach are actually the lessons we receive from our own students. I was so proud of them that their response was not that God just be answering our prayers so we can have more of what we want. What they were explaining to me is that blessings represent what we need and our relationship with God is covenantal not transactional.
So like Ephraim and Menashe, the exemplars for young Jewish children, our kids live in a world where they are faced with a bifurcated identity. They exist in two worlds at once and they must figure out how their Jewish values impact and inform the way they walk through the world and who they choose to become as people.
When we place our hands on our children’s heads and utter the words “yesimcha Elohim k’ephraim and menashe” may God make you like them – we are asking our children to carry both worlds on their backs. To parse out for themselves how their relationship to Judaism and to the people of Israel makes them a better person, a better American, and a better Jew.
When we place our hands on our children’s heads and utter the words “yesimcha Elohim k’ephraim and menashe” may God make you like them – we are asking our children to carry both worlds on their backs. To parse out for themselves how their relationship to Judaism and to the people of Israel makes them a better person, a better American, and a better Jew.
As we approach the end of this calendar year and take stock of the time that passed, we can rest easy and remember that though the tasks before us are great we should not be daunted. It is not upon us to finish the work of repairing the world but neither are we free to desist from it. It is upon us to bestow the blessings and teachings of the Jewish people on the generations that come after us, in order that they too may help us build a better, stronger world in the years to come.
Happy New Year and Shabbat Shalom!
[1] https://velveteenrabbi.blogs.com/blog/2010/12/this-weeks-portion-the-blessings-of-ephraim-and-menashe.html